May 2019: My friend recommended I go on a dating app. I was extremely reluctant, but I followed her Piscean advice anyway. I received too many lude messages to describe and DMd those with interesting profiles… all of which ignored me- except one. The Virgo took an opportunity to correct my grammar and I was immediately infatuated by his *eh* demeanor.
Young Jasmine shaped and molded her life based on the assumption that her place in the world was to be a Sagittarian philosopher and adventurer. I ignored the piece of me that yearned for silence and discipline. I subconsciously (and detrimentally) chose lovers and friends that reflected the wild nature inside of me. I searched for people and things that were “compatible” to me. However, I soon learned that compatibility is a sham when the traits you’re factoring in are misunderstood.
Astrology is the study of movements and postions of celestial bodies in relation to human affairs. Horoscopes are a practice adopted by American culture using Astrology to deliver this information. However, many of us tend to read the horoscopes, or general definitions of our sun signs and believe they are personal blueprints.
Narcissists are extremely predictable. Once they have been uncovered or confronted, they will cower in the distance until enough time has passed for them to dodge accountability. When backed into a corner this personality type will gaslight, deflect, or lie by omission to escape the corner, and find a new place to hide. Usually in the arms of another. Narcissistic personalities are like the Bluebeard archetype. In the story of Bluebeard, he wears a bright blue beard to mask the dark and deceitful person behind it.
If you are an empath, then you are a narcissist. Just as the sun and moon, day and night, male and female- divine order is greatly ruled by the law of polarity. This law states that everything has two “poles”: good and evil or love and hate. Just like North and South, the law of polarity states everything has an opposite. However, yin and yang teach us that although the opposite parts are separate, they are equal. What exists within one, must exist within the other to create balance.
I once defined my lover as a narcissist. It freed me from the notion that I too, could have been selfish in love. I allowed this man to walk into my life with no intentions to love him unconditionally. He was a muse for my creativity and an outlet for my pain. Pain that existed well before I met him. His love and attention simply acted as trophies in the corridors of my life.
Jasmine Brianna Ellison is a self-published author with a degree in Political Science. Currently studying Urban Studies at the University of Illinois at Chicago, Ellison is a full-time student and writer.
THESE PERSONAL INSIGHTS ARE NOT MEANT TO EXCUSE OR ENCOURAGE RECONCILIATION WITH ANY ABUSIVE PERSONS OR BEHAVIORS IN YOUR LIFE.